Had a glorious weekend with my fellow MFAers at Queens University. Was part of a four-person panel on book publishing and shared my experiences in working with a university press. Also, I urged my colleagues to follow their passion and write about what ignites their spirit (that's what I try to do!). Learned a host of new information, including the critical process of handling the business side of being an author (thanks, Carl Moore - you ROCK!). Participated in the evening open-mic session and read two short essays from my collection, "Kuharimisha." It was a long day, but so worth it to be a part of the entire program. Both me and my hair were tired (my 'do kind of fell apart)... :<)
Every time I revisit Queens and hang out with my graduate school fellows - Dartinia Hull, Andrew Wright, Ron Yates, Val Nieman, Erin Pushman - I'm re-energized and ready to move closer to that come-soon day when "all I do" is further hone my craft and create new books. I'm kind of 'done' as it relates to a 'career' or being a 'professional' - I believe that I have contributed all that I could to an official work-life. Part of me feels that ageism is coming into play and that society is preparing to do what it does to 60-ish women: the traditional thing of putting me out to pasture. Realizing this fact doesn't make me sad, but increases my resolve. I have a LOT more to give, just not in this arena. Some of this belief comes from the vibe I get from those climbing ladders. I'm fully aware that it is caused by my refusal to play career-reindeer games such as perming and/or weaving my hair, wearing lots of make-up and stilettos (can't do the latter because my joints won't allow it), and not catering to age-ist and sexist behavior. As Sammy Davis, Jr. used to sing lustily, "I've gotta be me..."
This is what I think about when I open my eyes every morning. When I'm writing and editing, I feel that I'm serving God and the ancestors along with my mission and vision to share what illuminates the African-American experience. I want to live as Jill Scott sings, "...living my life like it's golden, golden!" I believe that I'm on the right path.